The Sanderson Gazette - 2026-10-28 - Arriving at Midway
I apologize in advance for the very tortured pun that ties together the previews this week... but if I know one thing about the Blingaleague, it's that this kind of humor usually goes over pretty well, so maybe you all will actually enjoy it!
Week 7 Recap
We might have two 7-0 teams for the first time ever, but it was a pair of 5-2 squads that made the biggest statements this week...
Schertz def. Matt, 139.59-123.00
That sound your heard on Monday night after CeeDee Lamb's (21.87) second touchdown was Schertz transforming from a fortunate 4-2 team to a bona fide 5-2 contender. A huge part of his week seven win was Tony Pollard's 34.37 and Geno Smith's 25.35 (more on those two players in the Weekly Awards section).
Matt had four twenty-plus scorers (Zay Flowers (24.27), Javonte Williams (21.50), Rhamondre Stevenson (20.60), and Amon-Ra St. Brown (20.30)), but took a very tough loss to fall to 2-5.
Babel def. Rabbit, 124.08-90.68
Amazingly, Babel's score this week was his lowest of the last four; that's how seriously we should be taking him as a contender. His four-week total of 533.23 is 14th highest in league history (and second highest this year; Pulley scored 535.33 from weeks 2-5).
This week, he basically won on Thursday, when Drake Maye (29.65) and Luther Burden III (24.03) put up over fifty combined. Rabbit unfortunately saw his defense dip into the negative (San Francisco, -3.00) and didn't even have one twenty-point player.
Pat def. Pulley, 111.72-96.73
Pat stayed undefeated and pushed Pulley down to 5-2 thanks to Tee Higgins's 25.73 and Quinshon Judkins's 22.67. Pulley couldn't get enough from Dak Prescott (25.40) on Monday night to complete a comeback and now sees himself two games out of a bye despite having the second most points ever through seven weeks.
Mike R. def. Kevin, 108.50-93.83
Mike also stayed undefeated in a matchup that was very close until George Pickens (13.60) played on Monday night. Trey McBride (20.80) was Mike's highest scorer, but he also got -6.00 from the Panthers defense. Meanwhile, Kevin got 24.13 from Jameson Williams, but just 1.20 from Kendrick Bourne and 1.00 from Eddy Pineiro.
Scott def. Dave, 98.08-75.40
Scott moved to 4-3 despite a disastrous week from Bryce Young (4.55). That was because Bucky Irving (23.13) and KC Concepcion, Jr. (19.50) had strong showings. Also, it was because he played Dave, who got less than a point from Nico Collins (0.80) and Adonai Mitchell (zero) combined.
Richie def. Ed, 85.27-67.84
Joe Burrow's (31.30) ridiculous second half powered Richie over Ed, in part because it kept taking points away from the commissioner's defense (Baltimore, -5.00). Besides Burrow, no players scored more than twenty in this one.
Derrek def. Rob, 89.77-61.05
Derrek got 28.00 from Bo Nix. Rob was reliant on Darius Cooper (2.27) having a very good game to avoid getting his heartbeat slapped.
Trades
Trade between Dave and Ed
Dave received:
- Jordyn Tyson - from Ed - keeper cost: 6th
Ed received:
- D.J. Moore - from Dave - keeper cost: 2nd
This was the rare trade that was not expected to have any impact the week it was made! Dave bought Tyson, who has yet to play an NFL snap, for his keeper potential, while Ed (who was inching his way back into contention prior to this week) was willing to bet on Moore coming back strong from his bye.
Standings
- Mike R., 7-0, 818.92
- Pat, 7-0, 806.58
- Pulley, 5-2, 863.57
- Babel, 5-2, 812.79
- Schertz, 5-2, 725.40
- Scott, 4-3, 713.75
- Kevin, 3-4, 642.67
- Richie, 3-4, 581.59
- Matt, 2-5, 729.67
- Ed, 2-5, 720.18
- Rabbit, 2-5, 718.24
- Derrek, 2-5, 652.89
- Dave, 2-5, 589.14
- Rob, 0-7, 548.42
Blingalytics Ratings
- Pulley, 721 (5-2)
- Mike R., 717 (7-0)
- Pat, 707 (7-0)
- Babel, 677 (5-2)
- Matt, 555 (2-5)
- Ed, 548 (2-5)
- Rabbit, 536 (2-5)
- Schertz, 530 (5-2)
- Scott, 530 (4-3)
- Derrek, 388 (2-5)
- Kevin, 371 (3-4)
- Dave, 293 (2-5)
- Richie, 245 (3-4)
- Rob, 182 (0-7)
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums
Schertz's 139.59 was the high mark of week seven.
Slapped Heartbeat
Rob's 61.05 is his new low for the season.
Weekly MVP
Tony Pollard blew up for 34.37 for Schertz.
Dud of the Week
The Carolina defense bottomed out with -6.00 for Mike R. (Honorable mention: the Baltimore defense scored -5.00 for Ed.)
Start of the Week
Schertz wasn't tempted by TreVeyon Henderson (2.77) or Jonah Coleman (7.40) over Tony Pollard (34.37). If he had been, not only would have not have gotten Team Blangums, but he would have outright lost his matchup.
Misplay of the Week
No one made a bad enough call to lose their game this week.
Pickup of the Week
While Derrek deserves credit for picking up Bo Nix and his 28.00 points, this one will ultimately go to Schertz for nabbing Geno Smith; the Jets QB's 25.35 was instrumental in his victory and Team Blangums prize.
Pryor Play of the Week
Tony Pollard scored 34.37 for Schertz; his previous high for the season was 11.07.
Week 8 Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Keep Calm & Dameon (Babel, 5-2, 4th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 5-2, 5th)
Schertz leads all-time series, 9-5.
It works out nicely that the two teams who made the biggest statements in week seven face off in week eight.
Babel's historic four game stretch - the 14th highest ever - was mentioned earlier, and what makes it even more notable is that he was only averaging 93 points per game prior to it. He's a lot like a flight that had delays, but made all that time up once in the air. Two big parts of his turnaround has been Drake Maye (@MIA), who went from bad to very, very good, and Ollie Gordon II (vs. NE), who is lapping the field for the Pickup of the Year award right now. Getting Josh Jacobs (vs. CAR) back from the commissioner's exempt list is just gravy for Babel.
Meanwhile, Schertz is like those propellor planes that somehow manage to cross the Atlantic. He was sputtering, but airborne, for a while, and then kicked into another gear in week seven. And while Tony Pollard (@CIN) is not going to score three touchdowns every week, getting Trevor Lawrence (vs. IND) back from his bye can make up for that.
Pick: Keep Calm & Dameon.
Other Blingamatches
Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 7-0, 1st) vs. Barftastic (Richie, 3-4, 8th)
Mike is 7-0 and has not scored less than 100 all year. He's been doing it without Lamar Jackson (@BUF); the former MVP's return is like a first-class upgrade for our first place team. Now, Christian McCaffrey and Chris Olave are on bye, but Mike just so happens to have breakout rookie Caleb Douglas (vs. NE) ready to fill in.
Richie scraped out a win in week seven despite Justin Jefferson (@DET), A.J. Brown (@MIA), and Brock Bowers (@NYJ) all being held in check. That's kind of been the story of his season, not much going right, but still winning enough to be in the playoff picture - and waiting and waiting for his stars to be healthy and/or produce like stars. It's like Richie is flying standby.
Pick: Barftastic.
The Vistas are Back (Pat, 7-0, 2nd) vs. Let him Cook! (Scott, 4-3, 6th)
Scott leads all-time series, 6-2.
Since we expanded to fourteen teams through last year, Pat's winning percentage over the first seven weeks of the season was 0.367 - by far the lowest among all franchies. So this year's 7-0 start has come out of nowhere, much like a stealth bomber. Jahmyr Gibbs (vs. MIN) and Tee Higgins (vs. TEN) are anything but stealthy, and have proven to be a great pair of picks to start the draft for Pat, and the fact that Kyle Pitts, Sr. (@TAM) has been valuable lately makes his team even more frightening.
Scott's extreme consistency has already been noted in The Gazette, so let's talk about how much he's overhauled his roster this year. He was willing to ship off Josh Allen and take on Bucky Irving (vs. ATL) and DeVonta Smith (@WAS), and he has stayed at or above 0.500 all year. Like Air Force One, the people inside might change, but the construct itself stays the same.
Pick: The Vistas are Back.
Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 5-2, 3rd) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 2-5, 11th)
Rabbit leads all-time series, 11-8.
Pulley's a 747; for a few weeks this year he was head and shoulders above the league, but now some others have caught up. While Jaxon Smith-Njigba (vs. CHI) is still flying high, it's guys like Christian Watson (vs. CAR) and Derrick Henry (@BUF) who have fallen off a bit and caused the MondoSquad to dip below 100 points each of the past two weeks.
Rabbit's title defense started 0-2 before he pulled back to 0.500... and then promptly lost three straight. In that way, he's like an itinerary where the first leg was delayed, but got back on track, only for the connecting flight to be late. Trade rumors around Jonathan Taylor (@JAC) are heating up, but that shouldn't impact his fantasy production, really. What could turn things around for our defending champ is if Saquon Barkley (@WAS) could just get healthy... but that looks like it might not come to fruition in 2026.
Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.
The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 3-4, 7th) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt, 2-5, 9th)
Kevin leads all-time series, 13-9.
Kevin's team isn't bad, but also, it's not that good. He sits appropriately at 3-4 and is probably being overlooked by most of the league right now, much like a Wednesday afternoon flight from Dallas to Atlanta full of business travelers. Having Ja'Marr Chase (vs. TEN) and Kyren Williams (vs. LAC) means that Kevin can blow up just about any week, but, weirdly, he's only cracked triple digits twice this year.
On the other side, Matt's been anything but bland this year. He looked really dangerous while starting 2-0, but has lost five straight and is currently a longshot to make the playoffs. It's like when you get through security without a line, but then your flight gets canceled. Josh Allen (vs. BAL) is back from his bye, and Amon-Ra St. Brown (vs. MIN) and Javonte Williams (vs. ARI) both bounced back from semi-disappointing stretches last week, so Matt's not dead yet... but this really is a must-win week for him.
Pick: Harrison Hammers.
D's Nuts (Derrek, 2-5, 12th) vs. Double Digits (Dave, 2-5, 13th)
Derrek leads all-time series, 11-9.
Derrek's 2-5 record is fairly well-earned, as he's failed to score more than 90 points in any of the past four weeks. Bijan Robinson (@TAM) is flashy (and great), but the rest of D's lineup contains low-budget guys like Courtland Sutton (vs. KC), Malik Washington (vs. NE), and Bo Nix (vs. KC). He's RyanAir.
It's been well-publicized that Dave took off like a flash in week one and has since been a completely non-entity. He's the Concorde.
Pick: D's Nuts.
LiveCommish (Ed, 2-5, 10th) vs. Rob for Today (Rob, 0-7, 14th)
Ed started 0-4 with his patented tough luck, then won two straight to get some hope, only to faceplant in week seven. Quite simply, our commissioner is like a flight that keeps getting delayed. Will he ever get to his destination, the playoffs? Probably not!
As for Rob, is he even a real team this year? Or is he one of those fake airplanes you put money in for kids to ride?
Pick: Live Commish.
Closing Thoughts
Probably because there are two of them, it seems like we haven't been focusing on our 7-0 teams, Mike R. and Pat, as much as we have on similar teams in previous years. As the author of this weekly publication, I feel a little bad about this, but... maybe going under the radar is a good thing? After all, two of the previous three teams that started 7-0 (2020 Pulley and 2021 Babel) didn't even get byes, and the third (2012 Rabbit) lost his first playoff game.