The Sanderson Gazette - 2026-10-07 - Spooked

Mike R.: "The Lions are the scariest average team."

Ed: "Or are the Panthers?"

Mike R.: "No, they're the spookiest."

Week 4 Recap

Babel def. Derrek, 143.23-84.02

Let's lead things off with a pair of teams who haven't gotten a ton of attention from the Gazette this year: Babel and Derrek.

Babel certainly demanded attention this week by (spoiler alert!) winning Team Blangums. That was due to Chuba Hubbard (25.13) and Sam LaPorta (17.20) going off in the Sunday night game, but also included Puka Nacua's 22.87 and Carnell Tate's 17.33.

Derrek's overall total was poor, but once again Bijan Robinson (26.77) played like a superstar, and Romeo Doubs (19.73) finally did something good. However, Ladd McConkey's zero and Davante Adams's 4.27 set the tone for D's overall disappointment.

Mike R. def. Scott, 102.27-96.43

The Game of the Blingaweek certainly lived up to the billing in terms of drama, though not in terms of overall totals (Mike was the lowest-scoring winner of the week). Heading into Monday night, Mike had a small lead with Chris Olave (15.47) going, while Scott had Juwan Johnson (7.87) and Alvin Kamara (18.97) on the other side. Ultimately, Mike held on, but it came down to the Saints' final drive.

Mike's secret MVP? Kicker Jake Bates, who scored 18.40.

Pulley def. Matt, 103.28-94.68

Pulley improved to 3-1 - though he didn't have the second highest score this week - behind Malik Nabers (20.93), Dak Prescott (19.95), and Derrick Henry (14.10). Matt got 27.00 from Javonte Williams and 21.73 from Zay Flowers, but lost because of duds from Kalif Raymond (0.80) and the previously-stellar Raiders defense (-1.00).

Dave def. Ed, 128.97-115.95

"The world decided you haven't had enough of this." - Mike R., to Ed.

Stop me if you've heard this before: the commissioner's matchup went into the final (relevant) game of with Ed having a solid, but not insurmountable lead, and each side having one player left... and Ed's lead evaporating as the opponent's WR put up their game of the season. In week two, it was Davante Adams who exploded for Derrek, and this week, Tetairoa McMillan (37.60) did it for Dave. The victor was also helped a lot by Nico Collins (27.73) and T.J. Hockenson (15.87).

Kenneth Walker III (29.97) once again put up a huge game in a loss for Ed.

Pat def. Rob, 122.32-82.71

Pat cruised to victory thanks to Jared Goff (24.10), Tee Higgins (20.93), and Quinshon Judkins (17.03), but what else would you expect when the (once again) first place team faces off against the last? Rob did get 25.55 from C.J. Stroud, but Parker Washington and Dalton Kincaid managed just 1.23 and 0.93, respectively.

Schertz def. Kevin, 112.72-93.49

Schertz improved to 3-1 with his highest output of the season thanks to CeeDee Lamb's 30.60 and good scores from his kicker (Cameron Dicker, 13.50) and defense (Seattle, 12.00) despite them playing against each other. Kevin got a huge game from Kyren Williams (28.93) but saw Ja'Marr Chase (3.60) leave early with an injury and ultimately fell to 1-3.

Rabbit def. Richie, 102.59-78.03

Jonathan Taylor (21.77) returned to form for Rabbit, offsetting Saquon Barkley's 1.07. And Will Reichard added 20.00, accounting for every Viking point for the second time in three weeks. Richie's injury-ravaged team - he had to start Jauan Jennings (1.07)! - didn't do much outside of Joe Burrow's 27.00.

Trades

Trade between Ed and Pat

Ed received:

  • D'Andre Swift - from Pat - keeper cost: 2nd
  • Mark Andrews - from Pat - keeper cost: 8th
  • Darren Waller - from Pat - keeper cost: 9th

Pat received:

  • Trey McBride - from Ed - keeper cost: 2nd
  • Green Bay - from Ed - keeper cost: 9th
  • Tyjae Spears - from Ed - keeper cost: 9th

Falling to 0-3 and losing De'Von Achane for the year led Ed to shop his elite TE for an improvement at RB or WR, and Pat decided it was worth it.

Both Swift (5.93) and McBride (4.13) had disappointing games. Ed could have used a good one from Swift (who fumbled and was stuffed twice at the goal line), but holding onto McBride (and starting anyone else on his roster in Swift's spot) wouldn't have resulted in a victory. And Pat won his matchup, anyways.

Therefore, this trade gets an incomplete grade for now.

Standings

  1. Pat, 4-0, 468.34
  2. Mike R., 4-0, 466.39
  3. Pulley, 3-1, 486.41
  4. Scott, 3-1, 416.82
  5. Schertz, 3-1, 381.31
  6. Matt, 2-2, 422.98
  7. Babel, 2-2, 422.79
  8. Rabbit, 2-2, 418.22
  9. Dave, 2-2, 400.66
  10. Derrek, 1-3, 415.76
  11. Kevin, 1-3, 357.10
  12. Richie, 1-3, 300.69
  13. Ed, 0-4, 419.42
  14. Rob, 0-4, 328.43

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Pulley, 771 (3-1)
  2. Mike R., 718 (4-0)
  3. Pat, 712 (4-0)
  4. Matt, 573 (2-2)
  5. Ed, 558 (0-4)
  6. Rabbit, 552 (2-2)
  7. Scott, 550 (3-1)
  8. Derrek, 521 (1-3)
  9. Babel, 515 (2-2)
  10. Dave, 460 (2-2)
  11. Schertz, 415 (3-1)
  12. Kevin, 324 (1-3)
  13. Rob, 206 (0-4)
  14. Richie, 125 (1-3)

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

Babel rocketed into relevance again with 143.23.

Slapped Heartbeat

Richie had the third worst score in week one and the second worth scores in weeks two and three, so it was inevitable he'd eventually get his heartbeat slapped. This week, he put up just 78.03 (somehow just his third worst score of the year) and took home the award.

Weekly MVP

Tetairoa McMillan put up 37.60 and won Dave's matchup because of it.

Dud of the Week

Several good choices this week, between Kalif Raymond (0.80) and the Raiders defense (-1.00) for Matt and Parker Washington (1.23) and Dalton Kincaid (0.93) for Rob. Kincaid will win this award, with the tiebreaker being that he was actively traded for by Rob two weeks ago.

Start of the Week

No winner's decision swung a game this week.

Misplay of the Week

Matt kept Bucky Irving (6.10) in his lineup over Rhamondre Stevenson (16.30) and lost by less than their difference.

Pickup of the Week

While Babel certainly should get credit for pickup up Ollie Gordon II and his 16.00 points - which contributed to his Team Blangums showing - Mike wouldn't have won his matchup at all had he not grabbed Jake Bates (18.40) during the week.

Pryor Play of the Week

Babel will get this award for Carnell Tate, whose 17.33 was far and away his best score of the year so far.

Week 5 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

The Vistas are Back (Pat, 4-0, 1st) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 2-2, 8th)

Rabbit leads all-time series, 16-5.

One thing I'll say for this year is that it's been pretty easy to choose which game qualifies for this space each week. Week five gives us our current first place team against our reigning champ.

Pat might not be the likeliest team to lead the league, but he's definitely not the luckiest. No, his spot has been earned thanks to Jahmyr Gibbs (@ARI), Tee Higgins (@MIA), and Jared Goff (@ARI, who was a great pickup after Jayden Daniels (vs. NYG) went down). So what spooks a guy who has a strong roster and a 4-0 record? Well, he cant' feel great that the elite TE he just traded for, Trey McBride (vs. DET), looked anything but in week four.

Rabbit's team has taken a step back from his ridiculously good 2025 version, but he's still in solid position at 2-2. Jonathan Taylor (@PIT) and Drake London (vs. BAL) are among the top players at their positions... and don't forget Will Reichard (@NO)! But Rabs has to be a little scared that Chase Brown (@MIA) and Matthew Stafford (vs. BUF) have yet to perform near the levels they did last year.

Pick: The Vistas are Back.

Other Blingamatches

schertzopotamus (Schertz, 3-1, 5th) vs. Double Digits (Dave, 2-2, 9th)

Schertz leads all-time series, 9-6.

Take a minute to look at just how similar Schertz is to his 2023 vintage at this point in the season. That team was 3-1, had 1.66 expected wins, and averaged only 1.04 points per game more than this his team this year. So Schertz has to be spooked that he'll finish all the way down in 9th place like he did back then.

Tetairoa McMillan (bye) may have saved Dave's season last week, as falling to 1-3 on the heels of two Slapped Heartbeats would have been devastating. So Dave has to be scared of what life is like this week without the young Panthers WR.

Pick: Double Digits.

Keep Calm & Etienne Jr. (Babel, 2-2, 7th) vs. Rob for Today (Rob, 0-4, 14th)

Rob leads all-time series, 12-10.

The Dickran Duel looks like a Dickran Dud this year, as Babel is coming off a Team Blangums award while Rob is 0-4 and in last place. Puka Nacua's (vs. BUF) return was critical for Babel in week four, but this week, Brock Purdy (@SEA) has a really tough matchup. Babel is probably frightened that week four's explosion is an anomaly, not his new normal.

Rob's team is, well, not good; in fact, this is his worst start in sixteen years! He's at least got a head start on keepers, with Jeremiyah Love (vs. DET), Michael Wilson (vs. DET), Jalen Coker (bye), and Jadarian Price (IR) all having some promise. But Rob might be spooked by how it's turned out for the player on his roster that looked like a great keeper a year ago, Emeka Egbuka (@DAL).

Pick: Rob for Today

Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 4-0, 2nd) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 1-3, 10th)

Mike R. leads all-time series, 11-10.

Mike has broken 100 points every week and is just barely behind first place Pat in total points, so life is pretty good. But is he spooked by some dark clouds forming this week? Lamar Jackson (@ATL) has a mysterious ankle sprain and Travis Kelce is on his bye.

Derrek's off to a disappointing start, but no one can say he made a poor choice at 1.02 with Bijan Robinson (vs. BAL). But D also has a clear top fear: are Jalen Hurts (@JAC) and the Eagles offense just completely busted at this point?

Pick: Bernie's Bullies.

Harrison Hammers (Matt, 2-2, 6th) vs. Live Commish (Ed, 0-4, 13th)

Ed leads all-time series, 11-10.

Matt's lost his last two to fall to .500 on the year, and should he be scared that Amon-Ra St. Brown's (@ARI) output during that losing streak is a sign of things to come? If so, will Javonte Williams (vs. TAM) and Zay Flowers (@ATL) continue to shoulder the load so well?

"What eldritch gods did Ed piss off?" - Rob.

There you go: Ed is spooked by eldritch gods. At least, some sort of otherworldly entity has it in for him, as this is the second time that he - or any other team - has started 0-4 despite having 2.2 or more expected wins. And now with his best player (Kenneth Walker III) on bye, it looks like 0-5 will be achieved shortly.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Let him Cook! (Scott, 3-1, 4th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 1-3, 11th)

Scott leads all-time series, 5-4.

Scott's carried the momentum from last year's playoff run into this year, as he's just a mere touchdown away from 4-0 on the year. But Josh Allen (@LAR) did come back to Earth a bit, scoring more in weeks one and two individually than he did in three and four combined. Should Scott be afraid that Allen will have one of his down games at the most inopportune time?

Meanwhile, Kevin clearly should be spooked by Ja'Marr Chase's (@MIA) status, as the Bengals start is currently in the concussion protocol. If he can't go in week five, it bodes poorly for Kev.

Pick: Let him Cook!

Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 3-1, 3rd) vs. Barftastic (Richie, 1-3, 12th)

Pulley leads all-time series, 10-5.

Pat and Mike might be ahead of him in the standings, but based on points and expected wins, Pulley's the team to beat. Really, the thing he should fear the most is his inner conflict as his star player (Jaxon Smith-Njigba) goes up against his real-life favorite team (the 49ers).

Meanwhile, Richie is almost certainly spooked by the letters "I", "R", "O", and "D", which all lurk too closely to players on his roster.

Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

Closing Thoughts

Week four's average score was 104.34, which was just shy of week one's 104.61, but still cracks the top 50 of all time.