The Sanderson Gazette - 2026-09-21 - First Place Pat

Week 2 Recap

Pat def. Dave, 100.47-59.58

For the first time in franchise history, Pat is in first place! (That leaves just Richie and Scott as active franchises who have never been atop the standings.)

Pat didn't have an amazing week, but he did manage to break triple digits despite having no 20-point players. Jahmyr Gibbs (19.33) and Stefon Diggs (18.27) were the closest, and really only Kyle Pitts, Sr. (2.00) had a bad game.

Meanwhile, Dave got screwed over by a pair of former Bears (D.J. Moore (-0.10) and David Montgomery (2.87)) and one current one (Caleb Williams (7.60)). Only Brandon Aubrey (16.90) really came to play for last week's Team Blangums winner.

Derrek def. Ed, 127.74-107.69

Ed was ahead by double digits in this one heading into Monday night, but then Davante Adams scored 38.00 for Derrek. Add that to the Patriots defense's 23.00 and Harrison Butker's 16.50 and D had himself a pretty excellent week.

Ed got 31.80 from the resurgent Patrick Mahomes II and another 19.83 from his teammate Kenneth Walker III, but fell to 0-2 despite breaking 100 each week so far.

Scott def. Rabbit, 119.79-113.85

Josh Allen (42.30) and James Cook III (20.03) kicked the week off nicely for Scott on Thursday night. He wound up needing every bit of it, as Matthew Stafford's 29.75 in a furious Monday night comeback fell just short for Rabbit - who fell to 0-2 for the first time since 2020.

Mike R. def. Rob, 114.45-92.47

Mike improved to 2-0 behind Christian McCaffrey (20.03), Travis Kelce (19.47), and Chris Olave (17.47). Rob fell to 0-2 thanks to Mike Gesicki (zero), Saquon Barkley (2.37), and Justin Herbert (8.30) having awful days.

Pulley def. Schertz, 123.55-84.41

Just like last week, Pulley finished with the second highest score of the week. Unlike last week, he was victorious! Jaxon Smith-Njigba (38.67) and Dak Prescott (31.55) made up for the single yard Pulley got from Marvin Harrison, Jr. (zero) and Malik Nabers (0.13) combined.

Schertz, like his opponent, got a big game from a WR and a Cowboy, but unfortunately for him, that is just one player: CeeDee Lamb (32.40). Week one hero Dallas Goedert (0.53) faceplanted this week, contributing to the loss.

Matt def. Richie, 118.63-64.88

Amon-Ra St. Brown (30.93) and DeVonta Smith (21.60) led the way for Matt as he moved to 2-0 on the year. Richie's high scorer was Joe Burrow, with 15.75.

Babel def. Kevin, 96.15-72.90

Despite the overall dudliness of this one, each side did have a standout performer! Babel got 31.35 from Brock Purdy, while Kevin got 22.00 from Ja'Marr Chase.

Standings

  1. Pat, 2-0, 233.67
  2. Mike R., 2-0, 229.82
  3. Matt, 2-0, 225.53
  4. Scott, 2-0, 217.32
  5. Pulley, 1-1, 257.43
  6. Derrek, 1-1, 228.26
  7. Dave, 1-1, 205.09
  8. Schertz, 1-1, 193.57
  9. Babel, 1-1, 185.89
  10. Richie, 1-1, 150.75
  11. Ed, 0-2, 217.71
  12. Rabbit, 0-2, 202.70
  13. Rob, 0-2, 161.39
  14. Kevin, 0-2, 151.90

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Pulley, 849
  2. Mike R., 713
  3. Pat, 683
  4. Matt, 671
  5. Derrek, 661
  6. Ed, 616
  7. Scott, 611
  8. Rabbit, 490
  9. Dave, 464
  10. Schertz, 417
  11. Babel, 365
  12. Rob, 206
  13. Richie, 127
  14. Kevin, 127

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

Derrek's 127.74 was enough to win $20 this week.

Slapped Heartbeat

Dave's 59.58 was his first sub-60 total since the 2022 semifinals.

Weekly MVP

Josh Allen (42.30) was not only the highest scorer of the week, he was a critical part of Scott's ascension to 2-0.

Dud of the Week

The Lions defense scored a pitiful -4.00 for Kevin.

Start of the Week

Scott won the only close game of the week but doesn't have anyone that qualifies here. Let's move on.

Misplay of the Week

Rabbit lost the only close game of the week but doesn't have anyone that qualifies here. Let's move on.

Pickup of the Week

Rob, despite losing, gets a shout-out here for picking up the Panthers defense and their 27.00 points.

Week 3 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Harrison Hammers (Matt, 2-0, 3rd) vs. Let him Cook! (Scott, 2-0, 4th)

All-time series tied, 4-4.

Matt's 2-0 because Amon-Ra St. Brown (vs. NYJ) is awesome and, uh, so is the Raiders defense (@NO)? That's been important, because the way guys like Bo Nix (vs. LAR), DeVonta Smith (@CHI), and Javonte Williams (vs. BAL) have mixed good with bad could have very easily led to a worse record.

Scott's 2-0 because Josh Allen (vs. LAC) is playing like an MVP. Fellow Bill James Cook III (vs. LAC), like Matt's supporting cast, has been both good and bad, but Garrett Wilson (@DET) has been consistently solid. If Tucker Kraft (vs. ATL) can start living up to preseason expectations, Scott should once again be a playoff contender.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Other Blingamatches

Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 2-0, 2nd) vs. Double Digits (Dave, 1-1, 7th)

Dave leads all-time series, 14-6.

Mike's undefeated because Christian McCaffrey (vs. ARI) and Travis Kelce (@MIA) aren't finished yet. Oh, and Chris Olave (vs. LV) has been pretty dang great.

Dave has an average record in the same way a man whose right arm is on fire and whose left arm is frozen has an average body temperature; he's earned both Team Blangums and Slapped Heartbeat just two weeks into the season. The latter is largely due to injuries to Caleb Williams, Nico Collins, and D.J. Moore, all of whom look like they'll miss week three.

Pick: Bernie's Bullies.

The Vistas are Back (Pat, 2-0, 1st) vs. Live Commish (Ed, 0-2, 11th)

Ed leads all-time series, 12-6.

Pat's 2-0 thanks to #1 overall pick Jahmyr Gibbs (vs. NYJ) delivering on his hype and Stefon Diggs (vs. SEA) rekindling his youth in Washington. It helps that the Steelers defense (vs. CIN) has scored in double digits both weeks so far, too.

"Ed, why do you not just delete the league in rage?" - Mike R.

Ed is 0-2 because he has not yet given into that temptation. He scored more than 100 in each of the first two weeks for the first time since his notorious 2020 season and, like in that season, he didn't win either game. That makes him just the second team since 2018 to start 0-2 despite having 1.2 or more expected wins.

Pick: The Vistas are Back.

Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 1-1, 5th) vs. Keep Calm & Etienne, Jr. (Babel, 1-1, 9th)

Babel leads all-time series, 15-13.

Pulley's 1-1 because he had the misfortune of playing Dave at his best. Pulley's bad luck is worse than Ed's, as he's has the second highest score in each of the first two weeks with just one win to show for it. His point total has been that impressive because of Jaxon Smith-Njigba (@WAS) and Derrick Henry (@DAL); his record should follow suit shortly.

Babel's 1-1 because he has the fortune of playing Kevin at his worst. Having a win despite not yet breaking 100 is definitely good luck, which Babel has needed due to underperformance from Drake Maye (vs. CIN), Luther Burden III (vs. PHI), and new team namesake Travis Etienne, Jr. (vs. LV).

Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

D's Nuts (Derrek, 1-1, 6th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 0-2, 14th)

Derrek leads all-time series, 12-8.

Derrek is 1-1 because Davante Adams (@DEN) is still freaking awesome... and because other key players like Bijan Robinson (@GB), Ladd McConkey (@BUF), and Colston Loveland (vs. PHI) have not put together multiple good games.

Kevin is 0-2 because, apparently, last year was an aberration. He needs to turn it around to avoid finishing in the bottom four for the fourth time in five years. That'll be a lot more difficult with Jaxson Dart out for the year.

Pick: D's Nuts.

schertzopotamus (Schertz, 1-1, 8th) vs. Barftastic (Richie, 1-1, 10th)

Schertz leads all-time series, 10-4.

Schertz is 1-1 because he has success stories like CeeDee Lamb (@BUF) starting alongside horror stories like Tony Pollard (@NYG).

Richie's 1-1 because, despite being last in total points, he had his usual helping of good luck in week one.

Pick: schertzopotamus.

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 0-2, 12th) vs. Rob for Today (Rob, 0-2, 13th)

Rob leads all-time series, 12-8.

Rabbit's 0-2 because he's had one deserved and one tough loss. Jonathan Taylor (vs. HOU) picked up where he left off last year, but Drake London (@GB) has been a huge disappointment. He just traded for Saquon Barkley (@CHI), who's just barely cracked double digits for the season, from...

Rob, who's 0-2 because he's failed to break the 93-point barrier so far. Barkley's been a big part of that, which is why he traded him for Dalton Kincaid (vs. LAR). He'll also need Justin Herbert (@BUF) to show any signs of life if he wants to resurrect his season.

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

Closing Thoughts

This is the first time we've had a team with more than 250 points through two weeks since 2023.