The Sanderson Gazette - 2025-09-24 - What a Week!

"Quietest time here is after the Gazette drops, because league managers are getting to their big drops." - Richie

Week 3 Recap

Scott def. Pat, 130.88-128.99

Not only did Scott have to worry about losing another close Blangums on Monday night, he had to worry about losing, period. Pat got an enormous Monday night game from David Montgomery (28.83) and would have won had Derrick Henry (9.93) not lost a fourth quarter fumble for the second time in three weeks.

Scott held on, though, with Jordan Mason (23.60), Chase McLaughlin (21.60), and the Pittsburgh defense (18.00) leading the way. Pat also got 32.10 from Caleb Williams in the loss.

Richie def. Rob, 75.66-70.35

  • "Playing Rob. Gave a huge speech to my team in the locker room about this rivalry. My locker room knows it’s a big game. Problem is that room is empty, everyone is in the hospital." - Richie

  • "Richie scans the empty locker room, reminiscing of years past when he sat on the same bench. He realizes it couldn't have been that bench - this locker room wasn't the same. Suddenly, the bench dissolves into the earth beneath him. He stumbles in fear, grabbing onto the locker shelf beside him, which too vanishes in his grasp. He comes to the stark realization that he's not in a locker room. Not in a room at all. He's trapped within a construct of his own mind. The roaring, rhythmic crowd noise wasn't from the stadium. It was his own pulse, intensifying with each breath. One thing can set him free. The very thing he fears more than anything in this moment. A win. A win for Ricardo's Legless. A win for freedom. A win for an escape." - Mike R.

  • "Beating Rob in FF is my favorite hobby." - Richie

This matchup was a nice mirror for the Scott-Pat tilt: Monday night drama, but with two awful overall team performances. Rob started the week with 24.15 from Josh Allen, but then saw every other player fail to hit double digits. Richie also had just one player with more than ten points (A.J. Brown, 20.53), but got enough from kicker Jake Bates (8.50) to pull ahead on Monday night.

Rabbit def. Pulley, 117.40-113.64

Rabbit moved to 3-0, but like Scott, had to sweat it out on Monday night. Jonathan Taylor (30.33) once again was awesome for Rabs, and Jalen Hurts (29.30) and George Pickens (15.07) added nice games, as well.

Despite being 0-3, Pulley has to love what he's seeing from Jaxon Smith-Njigba (18.80) and Amon-Ra St. Brown (16.27), though the latter's score was not quite enough for the MondoSquad to complete a Monday night comeback.

Babel def. Matt, 91.75-89.30

Babel avoided an 0-3 start despite Lamar Jackson's (26.40) best efforts for Matt on - stop me if you've heard this before - Monday night. Outside of Jackson, only Davante Adams (13.47) scored above expectations for Matt. Babel didn't really get many good games himself outside of special teams, where Will Reichard (15.70) kicked a 60-plus yard FG and the Eagles defense (13.00) scored on a blocked kick.

Schertz def. Mike R., 109.12-105.79

Schertz did complete a Monday night comeback, though it wasn't a large one; he needed less than four points from Tyler Loop (7.10). He also finally got a the type of performances he expected Omarion Hampton (20.87) and Kyren Williams (17.80).

The other Mike got big games from James Cook (18.13) and the Seattle defense (18.00) but fell just short of starting 3-0 for the first time since 2012.

Derrek def. Kevin, 119.37-95.32

The Minnesota defense put up a whopping 32.00 points for Derrek as he ran away with this one. (A pair of 49ers, Christian McCaffrey and Ricky Pearsall, added 16.93 and 15.60, respectively.) For Kevin, by the time Jahmyr Gibbs scored 22.97 on Monday night, he was already out of hope.

Dave def. Ed, 106.31-87.69

  • "Hello 1-2 my old friend / My record looks like you again / I cannot beat the shitty teams / And so go away my playoff dreams" - Ed

No Jayden Daniels, no problem for Dave! Geno Smith scored 26.45 as Dave rallied for his first win of the year.

Meanwhile, Ed fell to 1-2 for the second straight year, and third time in the last five, in large part due to CeeDee Lamb scoring zero points before he left with a high ankle sprain.

Standings

  1. Rabbit, 3-0, 321.89
  2. Scott, 2-1, 339.97
  3. Mike R., 2-1, 334.60
  4. Pat, 2-1, 318.47
  5. Derrek, 2-1, 311.47
  6. Schertz, 2-1, 303.47
  7. Matt, 2-1, 298.63
  8. Kevin, 1-2, 305.48
  9. Ed, 1-2, 283.62
  10. Rob, 1-2, 273.13
  11. Dave, 1-2, 270.56
  12. Babel, 1-2, 252.58
  13. Richie, 1-2, 201.86
  14. Pulley, 0-3, 312.95

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Scott, 705
  2. Mike R., 701
  3. Rabbit, 632
  4. Pulley, 595
  5. Pat, 595
  6. Derrek, 577
  7. Schertz, 540
  8. Matt, 514
  9. Kevin, 508
  10. Ed, 416
  11. Rob, 387
  12. Dave, 351
  13. Babel, 285
  14. Richie, 194

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

Scott just barely edged out his opponent, Pat, for this award: 130.88-128.99.

Slapped Heartbeat

Rob just barely edged out his opponent, Richie, for this award: 70.35-75.66.

This is the first time in league history that the Team Blangums runner up lost to the Team Blangums winner and the Slapped Heartbeat runner up defeated the Slapped Heartbeat recipient.

Weekly MVP

The Vikings defense had two touchdowns and scored 32.00 points for Derrek.

Dud of the Week

Even before he got injured towards the end of his game, Malik Nabers (1.73) was having an awful week for Pat - in a game he came very close to winning!

Start of the Week

Scott chose to start Jordan Mason (23.60) and Garrett Wilson (17.20) over Emeka Egbuka (11.33) and was rewarded with a win and Team Blangums.

Misplay of the Week

  • Mike R.: "Guys why haven't I simply been playing QJ?"
  • Babel: "Because we all understand the Schroedinger's cat of FF. QJ can score and should have been played, but as soon as you observe him playing, he can no longer be observed scoring."

Quentin Johnston, who had 11.87 on Mike's bench while Tee Higgins had 2.00 in his lineup - in a loss by less than four points - is only going to take home half of this week's Misplay of the Week award.

He'll share it with DeAndre Hopkins (1.73); had Rob chosen the other Ravens WR on his roster, Rashod Bateman (14.40), he'd have defeated Richie.

Pickup of the Week

For the second time this year, Richie added Alec Pierce to his team on Sunday morning. The Colts WR gave him 8.93 points in a close win.

Blessed Cahoots

Scott would have lost yet another game in which he nearly won Team Blangums had Derrick Henry not fumbled late in the Ravens loss for Pat.

Pryor Play of the Week

A.J. Brown scored 20.53 for Richie after totaling less than five points combined in weeks one and two.

(Honorable mention: Omarion Hampton scored 20.87 for Schertz after totaling less than ten points combined in weeks one and two.)

Week 4 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 3-0, 1st) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 2-1, 3rd)

Rabbit leads all-time series, 10-8.

  • "'Mike R. can't complain about much so far,' says someone who must not frequent the Blingachat on Sundays." - Mike R.

Rabbit is 3-0 for the third time in the past five years. In 2021 and 2023, he wound up in sixth place; will he buck the trend this year? If Jonathan Taylor (@LAR) keeps up his current pace, the answer to that is probably going to be yes. Like Taylor, Jalen Hurts (@TAM) - despite concerns about the Eagles passing game - has scored 25 or more in two of three weeks. It's safe to say that Rabs nailed his first two draft picks. If keepers Brian Thomas, Jr. (@SF) and Chase Brown (@DEN) can get going, he could see a return to his glory years.

Mike R. nearly won his first game in the post-Joe-Burrow era, putting up a triple digit score even though he lost. James Cook (vs. NO) has been better than every RB not named Jonathan Taylor, while Puka Nacua (vs. IND) has been better than every WR not named Amon-Ra St. Brown. If new addition A.J. Brown (@TAM) is truly back on track, this matchup could be a Blingabowl XVIII preview.

Pick: Bernie's Bullies.

Other Blingamatches

Let him Bake! (Scott, 2-1, 2nd) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 2-1, 6th)

Schertz leads all-time series, 5-3.

Scott has a couple new faces on his team due to a trade, but only Kenneth Walker III (@ARI) is in his lineup (CeeDee Lamb (vs. GB) is doubtful and Dak Prescott (vs. GB) is better with Lamb). But since Scott acquired Walker from Ed, expect the Seahawks RB to score multiple touchdowns again this week. Throw in Bijan Robinson (vs. WAS) and Jordan Mason (@PIT), and Scott has a deep and dangerous RB room. Oh, and Jordan Love (@DAL) gets to play against the Cowboys "defense"!

Schertz is one of the few teams that can put his RBs up against Scott's; De'Von Achane (vs. NYJ) has put up ten or more points every week and Omarion Hampton (@NYG) and Kyren Williams (vs. IND) are coming off great week three performances. If Nico Collins (vs. TEN) and the Texans passing game can get their shit together, he could be a strong contender all year.

Pick: Let him Bake!

The Vistas are Back (Pat, 2-1, 4th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 1-2, 8th)

Pat leads all-time series, 12-4.

Pat is 2-1 for - surprisingly - the third straight year. His team has undeniably been among the best in the league this season despite Malik Nabers (vs. LAC) and Derrick Henry (@KC) having just one double digit game apiece. Caleb Williams (@LV) has been a great pick so far, but with Nabers and Mike Evans now banged up and out, respectively, will Pat fall off?

Kevin has one Slapped Heartbeat, one Team Blangums, and one middling score so far. That's not odd for Kevin, who has had eight seasons with at least one Blangums and one Slapped Heartbeat (Dave and Matt have nine such seasons each, and only Kevin and Matt have two seasons with at least two of each award). Ja'Marr Chase's (@DEN) inconsistency is a big driver of Kevin's 1-2 record; on the other hand, Keenan Allen (@NYG) has been as consistent as a player can get, scoring between 14.13 and 15.07 every week.

Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.

Harrison Hammers (Matt, 2-1, 7th) vs. Rob for Today (Rob, 1-2, 10th)

Matt leads all-time series, 14-8.

Matt's 2-1 thanks to a close win in week one and a close loss in week three, which means it's hard to say how good his team is. Lamar Jackson (@KC) and Davante Adams (vs. IND) have been hits with his fist two picks, but George Kittle (IR) and Calvin Ridley (@HOU) have been misses with his third and fourth, respectively. At least Bucky Irving (vs. PHI) and Jaylen Warren (vs. MIN) have been steady performers, scoring double digits in five of six opportunities (and at least 9.23 in all six).

Rob is below .500 for the first time since week seven, 2023. He went on to win the Sanderson Cup that year, so it's certainly not the end of the world for him. His team is a big enigma right now, led by Marvin Harrison, Jr. (vs. SEA). Is the second-generation WR going to ever deliver on his pre-draft promise? At least Josh Allen (vs. NO) and the Houston defense (vs. TEN) have great matchups this week.

Pick: Rob for Today.

D's Nuts (Derrek, 2-1, 5th) vs. Keep Calm & Stefon (Babel, 1-2, 12th)

All-time series tied, 9-9.

Derrek is a quiet 2-1, with none of his games having been decided by less than 14 points. Like Keenan Allen, Christian McCaffrey (vs. JAC) has been very consistent, scoring between 16.63 and 18.43 every week. Ricky Pearsall (vs. JAC) is among the league leaders in receiving yards. Justin Herbert (@NYG) looks like the current leader in the real-life MVP race. There are some really good reasons to be optimistic about D's season-long chances.

On the other side of this rematch of Blingabowl X is Babel, who's had a rough go of it so far. Bo Nix (vs. CIN) has scored below 15 points twice so far. Josh Jacobs (@DAL) and Tyreek Hill (vs. NYJ) have both been fine, but not great. And now James Conner (IR) is out for the year. Historically, Babel doesn't make a lot of trades; will he need to go against that trend to shake things up this year?

Pick: D's Nuts.

Double Digits (Dave, 1-2, 11th) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 0-3, 14th)

Dave leads all-time series, 10-9.

Dave got a much-needed win, but does that change his outlook for the rest of the season? Geno Smith (vs. CHI) was a big part of said win, but he's a short-term solution while Jayden Daniels (@ATL) is injured. Justin Jefferson (@PIT) has scored ten or more every week, but never higher than 12.27; that's not what you want to see from your top WR. And Ashton Jeanty (vs. CHI) has been a huge disappointment for a first overall fantasy draft pick.

Pulley is 0-3 for just the third time in franchise history, but it's a strong 3-0; only the infamous 2020 Ed had more expected wins among 0-3 teams. He'll hope to follow in the path of 2016 Rabbit, who rallied from an 0-3 start to earn a bye. If he does, Amon-Ra St. Brown (vs. CLE) and Jaxon Smith-Njigba (@ARI) are almost guaranteed to be big parts of it, while disappointing third WR Terry McLaurin (@ATL) - who is now dealing with an injury - is going to need to step up and start hitting double digits.

Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

Live Commish (Ed, 1-2, 9th) vs. Still...Kicking (get it Rob??) (Richie, 1-2, 13th)

Richie leads all-time series, 8-5.

Ed will have a newly-acquired QB (Baker Mayfield (vs. PHI)), WR (Emeka Egbuka (vs. PHI)), and RB (Javonte Williams (vs. GB)) in his lineup, as well as another RB elevated from his bench (Trey Benson (vs. SEA)). So yeah, you can throw out everything you know about his team to this point when projecting this one.

Richie also made a trade this week, shipping off A.J. Brown for the surprising Quentin Johnston (@NYG) and Travis Etienne, Jr. (@SF). His narrow loss in week one is all that's keeping him from a 2-1 record despite having two sub-80-point games (one of which was sub-40!).

Pick: Live Commish.

Closing Thoughts

Week three's average score was 102.97, which isn't especially notable (it ranks 59th out of 228 total), but its average margin of 8.49 certainly is! Only week two of 2023 had a closer septet of games.