The Sanderson Gazette - 2025-09-17 - Two Good to Be True

Week 2 Recap

Pat def. Richie, 98.05-33.06

We'll start with the only real drama we had on Monday night: whether or not Richie would avoid putting up the lowest score in league history!

Ultimately, Brock Bowers (5.07) did just enough to earn him the third-worst score of all time. As you could guess, Richie had no double-digit scorers, with kicker Jake Bates (9.40) leading the way.

Pat could have sat everyone except Malik Nabers (34.27) and still won.

Kevin def. Rob, 140.50-84.57

The matchup between our first- and last-place teams turned out to a be a surprising blowout, with Kevin getting 37.30 from Jared Goff and 28.00 from Ja'Marr Chase. Rob's week started off with an injury-induced zero from Jayden Reed and was only made respectable by Brandon Aubrey's 24.50.

This is just the seventh time a last-place-first-place upset has happened:

  1. Week 10, 2009, Pulley def. Rabbit
  2. Week 3, 2014, Matt def. Dave
  3. Week 4, 2017, Matt def. Pulley
  4. Week 7, 2019, Dave def. Pulley
  5. Week 9, 2022, Babel def. Rob
  6. Week 7, 2023, Kevin def. Babel
  7. Week 2, 2025, Kevin def. Rob

Mike R. def. Pulley, 122.50-109.64

Rob's loss made way for Mike to make a statement win and move into first. Though Joe Burrow (6.80) once again disappointed (and is now seriously injured), Mike persevered behind James Cook (25.60), Puka Nacua (22.63), and Travis Etienne, Jr. (15.50).

Pulley took a tough loss with Amon-Ra St. Brown (34.03) having a huge game.

Matt def. Derrek, 112.82-88.30

The Game of the Blingaweek is fourth in the pecking order because it was, well, boring. Matt got 27.05 from Lamar Jackson and 20.13 from Davante Adams and cruised to a win. Derrek had a very small chance at a Monday night comeback, but Justin Herbert (20.20), Jakobi Meyers (9.07), and Ladd McConkey (6.40) didn't even come close.

Schertz def. Dave, 112.40-78.93

The Ravens special teams were a big contributor to Schertz's first win of the season; the Baltimore defense had 17.00 and Tyler Loop scored 12.50. De'Von Achane (21.27) stayed hot and Jameson Williams (20.40) blew up, too.

Meanwhile, our defending champ, Dave, is 0-2 and his top scorer, Jayden Daniels (19.70), now has a knee injury.

Ed def. Scott, 111.47-90.98

Ed earned his first win of the season despite getting duds from Travis Hunter (2.93) and Courtland Sutton (0.80). That's because Tucker Kraft (22.53) - in the words of Blingawoj - was a kaiju on Thursday night and Kenneth Walker III (18.23) rebounded from a bad week one.

Scott's Buccaneers - Baker Mayfield (20.05), Emeka Egbuka (9.87), and Chase McLaughlin (1.00) - attempted a longshot Monday night comeback, but fell well short of victory as he fell to 1-1.

Rabbit def. Babel, 102.45-90.43

Jonathan Taylor (29.17) had another big week as Rabs improved to 2-0 at the expense of the now 0-2 Babel. George Pickens (15.07) also outpaced projections for the victor, while D.J. Moore (6.13) and Stefon Diggs (4.27) fell short for the loser.

Standings

  1. Mike R., 2-0, 228.81
  2. Matt, 2-0, 209.33
  3. Rabbit, 2-0, 204.49
  4. Pat, 2-0, 189.48
  5. Kevin, 1-1, 210.16
  6. Scott, 1-1, 209.09
  7. Rob, 1-1, 202.78
  8. Ed, 1-1, 195.93
  9. Schertz, 1-1, 194.35
  10. Derrek, 1-1, 192.10
  11. Pulley, 0-2, 199.31
  12. Dave, 0-2, 164.25
  13. Babel, 0-2, 160.83
  14. Richie, 0-2, 126.20

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Mike R., 774
  2. Matt, 639
  3. Scott, 625
  4. Rabbit, 582
  5. Rob, 564
  6. Kevin, 560
  7. Pulley, 543
  8. Ed, 509
  9. Schertz, 500
  10. Derrek, 479
  11. Pat, 469
  12. Babel, 260
  13. Richie, 251
  14. Dave, 245

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums

Kevin's 140.50 makes up for his Slapped Heartbeat last week.

This is the eighth time - and the first time in more than five years - that a team has gone from worst to best in the span of a week:

  1. Mike R., weeks 2-3, 2008
  2. Rabbit, weeks 6-7, 2008
  3. Dave, weeks 11-12, 2008
  4. Katie, weeks 12-13, 2008
  5. Matt, weeks 1-2, 2013
  6. Pulley, weeks 7-8, 2016
  7. Dave, weeks 12-13, 2019
  8. Kevin, weeks 1-2, 2025

Slapped Heartbeat

Richie's 33.06, as mentioned above, is only better than two other scores in the history of the Blingaleague.

Weekly MVP

Jared Goff (37.30) is the easy choice here.

Dud of the Week

Justin Fields (3.25) did leave his game due to a concussion, but even up until that point had been playing terribly for Richie.

Start of the Week

The closest margin this week was 12.02, and in that game, Rabbit had a WR on his bench (Jaylen Waddle) that scored the exact same 15.07 points as his choice at starter (George Pickens). No award again this week.

Misplay of the Week

It didn't matter towards his game's outcome, or towards Team Blangums, but Ed watched Rome Odunze score 29.07 on his bench while Travis Hunter put up 2.93 in his lineup.

Pickup of the Week

Derrek didn't win his matchup, but he did grab Juwan Johnson off the waiver wire and was rewarded with 12.53 points in his TE slot.

Week 3 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 2-0, 1st) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 1-1, 9th)

Mike R. leads all-time series, 7-6.

Mike R. can't complain about much so far. Sure, Joe Burrow is out for the next few months, but he hadn't scored more than 8.45 points on the season and Mike is still 2-0. James Cook (vs. MIA) and Puka Nacua (@PHI) haven't scored less than 17.43, which is a big reason why the Mike sits atop the league at the moment. Throw in the steady Trey McBride (@SF), the surprising Travis Etienne, Jr. (vs. HOU), and garbage-time superstar Chuba Hubbard (vs. ATL) and the Bullies look like they might be the team to beat this year. So what's too good to be true for this team? Well, new starting QB Daniel Jones (@TEN) has been really good so far when, historically, he has, uh, not.

On the other side of the Gentlemen's Tussle is Schertz, who followed up a disappointing week one with an impressive week two. It seems unlikely that De'Von Achane (@BUF) can continue being this good, though, given how rough the Dolphins have looked and how imminent a coaching change seems to be. That fallout could be mitigated for Schertz, however, as Nico Collins (@JAC) and Omarion Hampton (vs. DEN) - his top two draft picks! - should produce more moving forward.

Pick: Bernie's Bullies.

Other Blingamatches

The Vistas are Back (Pat, 2-0, 4th) vs. Let him Bake! (Scott, 1-1, 6th)

Scott leads all-time series, 5-2.

For the second straight year, Pat is 2-0! That alone probably qualifies for this week's Gazette Gimmick on its own, and frankly, it might need to. That's because while Pat needed Derrick Henry (vs. DET) and Malik Nabers (vs. KC) to put up elite scores in weeks one and two, respectively, those are two players who should be putting up elite scores regularly. If Mike Evans (vs. NYJ) can get going, could this be finally be the year in which Pat makes the playoffs comfortably?

Scott has a very obvious "too good to be true" player: Javonte Williams (@CHI). Do we all have faith that this is finally the year that Williams stays healthy and productive? At least Scott has a solid team around him, though; Bijan Robinson (@CAR) has been great, Baker Mayfield (vs. NYJ) has been consistently good, and Jordan Mason (vs. CIN) should be the lead back in Minnesota for a while, at least.

Pick: Let him Bake!

Rob for Today (Rob, 1-1, 7th) vs. Ricardo Legless (Richie, 0-2, 14th)

Rob leads all-time series, 8-6.

Rob's least sustainable piece is hard to identify. Josh Allen (vs. MIA) has had one great game, but also one mediocre one. Saquon Barkley (vs. LAR) has scored between 15 and 16 points each week, which makes sense. And Brandon Aubrey (@CHI) hitting 60-plus-yard field goals should surprise nobody. Is it Tetairoa McMillan (vs. ATL)? He's clearly the top target in Carolina, but will he be as consistent as he's been so far? And if he's not, will it really hurt Rob's team that much?

Richie's had a rough enough fantasy season so far, I'll give him a pass on this weeks' theme.

Pick: Rob for Today.

Live Commish (Ed, 1-1, 8th) vs. Double Digits (Dave, 0-2, 12th)

Dave leads all-time series, 12-8.

For the commish, Rome Odunze's (vs. DAL) touchdown rate certainly seems too good to be true, though at least it does seem like the second-year player has become the Bears clear top WR. And in the same category, Tucker Kraft (@CLE) isn't going to score a touchdown (or have insane yardage) every week. Outside of that, players like CeeDee Lamb (@CHI) and Alvin Kamara (@SEA) are having solid seasons without reaching the end zone very much, so Ed's team looks like it should stay afloat for a while.

Meanwhile, Dave finds himself in a must-win situation if he wants to hang onto the Sanderson Cup. Nothing really seems too good to be true, here; if anything, Justin Jefferson (vs. CIN) and Ashton Jeanty (@WAS) have been disappointing, and Jayden Daniels (vs. LV) is dealing with an injury now. The last time Dave was on the verge of missing the playoffs, he traded away all his best players; if he doesn't win this week, are we going to see similar activity?

Pick: Live Commish.

The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 1-1, 5th) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 1-1, 10th)

Derrek leads all-time series, 11-8.

Kevin's team showed what it was capable of in week two, with old-timers Keenan Allen (vs. DEN) and Deebo Samuel, Sr. (vs. LV) being a significant part of it. But can they maintain this level of play all season? Jahmyr Gibbs (@BAL) got back on track and should be able to sustain, and Kev really shouldn't worry too much about Ja'Marr Chase (@MIN), even without Joe Burrow for the foreseeable future.

Derrek's team has basically been the definition of good, but not too good, so he, too, doesn't have an obvious "too good to be true" element. Maybe a healthy Christian McCaffrey (vs. ARI) is definitionally too good to be true? D's WRs probably need to step up a little bit for him to reach true contender status; Jakobi Meyers (@WAS), Ricky Pearsall (vs. ARI), DK Metcalf (@NE), and Ladd McConkey (vs. DEN) haven't yet had a fifteen-point game between them.

Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.

Harrison Hammers (Matt, 2-0, 2nd) vs. Keep Calm & Stefon (Babel, 0-2, 13th)

Matt leads all-time series, 12-7.

Matt's team has been boringly good, and Jaylen Warren (@NE) has epitomized that. Will he keep putting up double digit scores? Even without that, Lamar Jackson (vs. DET) has been awesome, as expected, and Bucky Irving (vs. NYJ) and Davante Adams (@PHI) have been overall quite good.

Babel's team showed life in week two after a dismal week one, but he still sits at 0-2. Josh Jacobs (@CLE) and James Conner (@SF) have been steadily solid, but Bo Nix (@LAC) has been up-and-down and now faces a tough defense. Wait, what's that? The too-good-to-be-true gimmick? Um, pass?

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 2-0, 3rd) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 0-2, 11th)

Rabbit leads all-time series, 10-8.

Rabbit is the favorite heading into the other undefeated-vs.-winless matchup and is even scarier when you consider he really doesn't have any overperformers. Jonathan Taylor (@TEN) was awesome in week two, but just OK in week one. Brian Thomas, Jr. (vs. HOU) has been a big disappointment. Sure, Zay Flowers (vs. DET) had an outlier week one, but he came back to earth already last week.

Jaxon Smith-Njigba (vs. NO) has been good, but doesn't fit the overall theme for the Pullman. No, his too-good-to-be-true player is his other keeper, J.K. Dobbins (@LAC). Not only does the Dobbins have a long injury history, he has rookie R.J. Harvey waiting in the wings. Amon-Ra St. Brown (@BAL) will need to have more weeks like this past one for Pulley to become a contender. Oh, and Terry McLaurin (vs. LV) will have to start doing something.

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

Closing Thoughts

Week two's 98.29 average is an improvement over week one's 93.64, but how about we crack triple digits for an average this week?